White Noise
The noise is constant inside my house. Primarily, two young boys who enjoy mimicking the sound of the vacuum cleaner and dumping their tub of blocks onto tile floors. Both our neighbors each have three school-aged kids, who are audibly going stir-crazy at home. There is our neighbor’s A/C unit that sounds like it’s sitting in the middle of our master bedroom, the sound of the coffee grinder because coffee is essential, the rumbling of the garbage truck that immediately prompts our boys to run to the window, the mowing of the lawn – ours and every other house on our street. And the birds – the BIRDS. We are convinced that we live in an unofficially-designated bird sanctuary.
Then, there is the latent, but ever-present sound of my own thoughts – concerns, doubts, regrets, complaints, and anger – dotted with the voices of others: my husband, my mom, friends, co-workers, the news, memes, and obviously, Kanye West. Standing in the midst of all of this noise, I feel confused and lost, from the little things (should I be growing my own vegetables?) to the bigger things (should we have had kids, given the state of the world?).
Shamefully, I have to admit that the voice that should be loud enough to drown out the others, is not. I am quicker to open the web browser than I am to open the Bible. I am more inclined to text my girlfriend than to close my eyes and pray. I am seeking advice and counsel in all the wrong places. And that is why these questions still haunt me, daily.
Hindsight is 20/20, and blogging is easier than turning words into actions. If you are like me, recognition of your shortcomings does not directly translate to practical application. Every single day, we have choices to make. As stated in my previous post, I have to make a choice every day and every hour to obey God and follow Christ. It is the most important choice. And when I make that choice, it becomes apparent that the road is clear, and the obstructions are not as big as they had seemed.