Out of Focus
I’m so distracted.
My hair has been falling out. Postpartum hair loss is normal and, to some extent, repairable. But every time I look in the mirror, or any reflective surface for that matter, I am convinced that my hairline is getting higher and higher. From all the loss of hair obviously. I started taking biotin and have invested in a scalp cleanser and exfoliator.
My son has started a new school and the school has asked us to label all of his belongings. A Sharpie will not do. I need a label maker. A good one. The kind that has multiple fonts, multiple sizes; the kind that every other parent must be using.
These are the thoughts that consume me daily. Scalp exfoliators. Label makers. Podcasts. iCal reminders. Organic versus non-organic. Phthalates. Sulfates. Nitrates. I am not saying that these things are absolutely unimportant, but when I consider how much time and thought I put into drawing closer to Jesus – Jesus, who has saved my life – I have clocked in minimal time and have no excuses for it.
There is no shortage of distractions in our culture. We are pulled from one end to the other by interests, concerns, and expectations that are wholly of this world. These distractions, coupled with my own existence in an overly abundant and exceedingly privileged corner of this world, make it so convenient to proclaim Christ as my Savior, yet so difficult to draw near to Him daily. This vast dichotomy between the easiness of professing my faith and the challenge of truly understanding the cost of my salvation is a personal struggle. And while we cannot abandon our immediate surroundings because we are residents of this world, we must cling to the truth and to Christ because we are residents of this world. To that extent, I am motivated to seek out my calling; not just doing my 9 to 5, but knowing and living out my purpose every day and every hour. I am encouraged to enrich my character, so that my faith bears fruit. And I am inspired to engage with our culture in a meaningful way, so that truth, goodness, and beauty are ever present, no matter what form. So let us keep our eyes on the eternal prize and seek Him first.