First Blog

It has taken me some time to get here, but I think that I am finally realizing that the practice of law just might be my calling.

Desire for Direction

What a story it would be if I could tell people that when I was eight years old, I shared with my class that when I grew up, I wanted to be an attorney. Or that I received recognition and accolades throughout my journey – constant affirmation that I was doing exactly what I was supposed to be doing. Or that I sued industry giants and won millions of dollars for victims of corporate corruption and deceit – who could argue that I should be anything but an attorney? In any of these scenarios, I would feel confident that I was living out my calling. But I had none of the above.

When people ask me how I became an attorney, this is what I tell them. After college, I had a hard time finding meaningful employment, largely because I didn’t know what I wanted to do and because I had majored in East Asian Studies (just your typical post-B.A. dilemma). There was the Google interview that I bombed when they asked me to estimate, on the spot, how many dimples there are on a golf ball. (Have you heard that attorneys are terrible at math?  It’s absolutely true.) Then, there was the CIA. I made it to round 3, but walked out and withdrew my application as soon as I heard the words, “defensive driving.” In the midst of all of this confusion, my friend encouraged me to apply to law school. “You’re good at writing,” she said. So I told myself that if I achieved a decent LSAT score, I would apply to law school. When I achieved a decent LSAT score, I told myself that I would go to law school if I was accepted to a decent law school. And when I was accepted to a decent law school, I enrolled, graduated, and got a law firm job. This story is incredibly pedestrian, but it’s the truth. Nothing about the foregoing screamed to me that the practice of law was my calling, but there I went.

The GPS

At the Ren, we talk about finding your calling with GPS: Gifts, Passion, and Service.  Gifts are inherent – “born this way.” Or as Richard Park asks: what do others enjoy your doing? In retrospect, there were brief, but shining moments of affirmation that I can recall clearly. A partner of a law firm where I clerked during my law school years, asked to see a still-working draft of a motion, and his three words after reading it: “this is good.” After graduating, I worked for another firm, where the managing partner assigned a memo to me. I remember re-writing sections of the memo over and over again, terrified to be the recipient of his notorious wrath, but when he read my final draft, he told me that he had no changes; from thereon, he entrusted me with more of his work. Am I passionate about it? I used to think that passions were demonstrated through soapbox speeches and marching down streets. So would I stand on a soapbox and give an impassioned speech about the joys of writing? Probably not. But am I willing to “suffer” and write a piece worth reading? Yes – I will re-write, re-write, and re-write until it is exactly what I want to say. And have I been given opportunities to use my gift and my passion to serve God? Absolutely. But are they opportunities of a lifetime that others dream of? Probably not. I’m not writing a New York Times bestseller or million dollar contracts for professional athletes. I draft contracts for janitorial services and purchasing helicopters for one of the largest counties in California, and in my downtime, I contribute to the blog here, jotting down my thoughts, beliefs, concerns, and hopes.

Small Indications

If you’re like me, there will be no flashing marquee sign or a series of golden ticket opportunities. At most, you may get an email from your client, saying how much he appreciates your good work, or a text that your blog post contributed to a meaningful discussion among college students. But this is significant, so do not be discouraged. When you stop to check your “GPS,” you may find that you are on the right path, or perhaps even already at your destination.